So… you know how I recently admitted that I’m a fan of reality TV?

I was perusing On Demand offerings a week or so ago and noticed that MTV has a “Retro” section where you can access old shows. And guess what I found??

I got all nostalgic and decided to watch a couple episodes and ended up watching the entire second season. (Oops.) I also decided it would be cruel to keep my thoughts to myself.

Let’s do this!

1. I think it’s pretty official that Lauren Conrad is not known as “The Girl Who Didn’t Go to Paris.”
2. Spencer was SUCH a douche right from the start. I totally forgot about him two-timing Heidi and Audrina. And frankly, I kind of miss Heidi’s old face and Heidi’s old backbone.
3. Jen Bunney’s new face, however, is a definite improvement.
4. Oh Lisa LOVE. I miss seeing her on my TV. I love how they constantly make it seem like she thinks Lauren is the biggest idiot in the entire world.
5. Side-note: I used to want to be an editor for film or television and actually used to daydream about being an editor for MTV reality shows or Bravo reality shows. They make their stars SO ridiculous and I just imagine that most of their time is spent giggling. (The rest is spent rolling their eyes, obviously.)
6. “Us ugly people have to work our asses off.” LOL. And truth.
7. I’m starting to think Heidi might actually be a real life Benjamin Button. She has become more immature since this show which is really saying something. (See: Marriage Boot Camp.)
8. I still find it a little incredible that these young (non-married, non-mother) ladies were better at avoiding drama than every single Real Housewife out there. And they actually talk about their issues. Probably because theirs was real drama and not manufactured just for TV. Man, I actually do miss this show 😦
9. It’s incredible how MTV expected viewers to believe that these were real conversations when they always show the other person’s face while the person who’s talking is talking and it’s clearly inserted audio. Yet I fall for it every time. Well, not every time. But a lot of the time.
10. Heidi and Lauren had a really genuine friendship, and it still makes me a little sad that things imploded SO badly between them. That said…Team Lauren.
11. “There is no where else in the world I’d rather be right now.” Brody. YOU JUST MET. Calm down. Also, how hilarious would it be if Lauren decided to score points with Lisa Love and replied that she would actually rather be in Paris.
12. Ladies of the world (especially young ones): If a boy you are dating threatens one of your coworkers with bodily harm because of a comment they made about your outfit, walk away. No, RUN away. It’s not chivalrous or normal or cute. It’s cray cray.
13. I’ve lost count of how many times Audrina has said “EW” after Heidi accused her of hooking up with Spencer.
14. This is like the reality version of The Other Woman! Except Heidi’s a fucking moron.
15. HOLY CRAP. I am 99% sure that I just saw Lauri’s daughter, Ashley, from Real Housewives of Orange County!
16. I love how much Lauren hates Intern Emily for seemingly no reason. She’s great at her job, clearly works hard (18 credits and two internships??) and knows her flowers. What’s not to love? “She’s like super intern.” You know…Emily is actually kind of how I imagine current-day Lauren Conrad. Oh the wonders of Instagram.
17. Ouch at Lisa Love dismissing Lauren and Whitney from the dinner but inviting Emily (to make her own place card LOL.) Stuff makes me believe that The Devil Wears Prada wasn’t too far off.
18. And with that we’re at the beginning of the end of Heidi+Lauren=BFF.
19. “Spencer got you some flowers!” “That’s nice of him. Is he going to give them to Audrina tomorrow?” LOL
20. Audrina and Lauren totally predicted that Spencer would try to isolate Heidi by putting ideas into her head. Spencer is like the human version of Scientology.

So much drama, y’all.