20 Thoughts I Had While Randomly Re-Watching Season 2 of The Hills

So… you know how I recently admitted that I’m a fan of reality TV?

I was perusing On Demand offerings a week or so ago and noticed that MTV has a “Retro” section where you can access old shows. And guess what I found??

the-hills_dec07_banner

I got all nostalgic and decided to watch a couple episodes and ended up watching the entire second season. (Oops.) I also decided it would be cruel to keep my thoughts to myself.

Let’s do this!

  1. I think it’s pretty official that Lauren Conrad is not known as “The Girl Who Didn’t Go to Paris.”
  2. Spencer was SUCH a douche right from the start. I totally forgot about him two-timing Heidi and Audrina. And frankly, I kind of miss Heidi’s old face and Heidi’s old backbone.
  3. Jen Bunney’s new face, however, is a definite improvement.
  4. Oh Lisa LOVE. I miss seeing her on my TV. I love how they constantly make it seem like she thinks Lauren is the biggest idiot in the entire world.
  5. Side-note: I used to want to be an editor for film or television and actually used to daydream about being an editor for MTV reality shows or Bravo reality shows. They make their stars SO ridiculous and I just imagine that most of their time is spent giggling. (The rest is spent rolling their eyes, obviously.)
  6. “Us ugly people have to work our asses off.” LOL. And truth.
  7. I’m starting to think Heidi might actually be a real life Benjamin Button. She has become more immature since this show which is really saying something. (See: Marriage Boot Camp.)
  8. I still find it a little incredible that these young (non-married, non-mother) ladies were better at avoiding drama than every single Real Housewife out there. And they actually talk about their issues. Probably because theirs was real drama and not manufactured just for TV. Man, I actually do miss this show ūüė¶
  9. It’s incredible how MTV expected viewers to believe that these were¬†real conversations when they always show the other person’s face while the person who’s talking is talking and it’s clearly inserted audio. Yet I fall for it every time. Well, not every time. But a lot of the time.
  10. Heidi and Lauren had a really genuine friendship, and it still makes me a little sad that things imploded SO badly between them. That said…Team Lauren.
  11. “There is no where else in the world I’d rather be right now.” Brody. YOU JUST MET. Calm down. Also, how hilarious would it be if Lauren decided to score points with Lisa Love and replied that she would actually rather be in Paris.
  12. Ladies of the world (especially young ones): If a boy you are dating threatens one of your coworkers with bodily harm because of a comment they made about your outfit, walk away. No, RUN away.¬†It’s not chivalrous or normal or cute. It’s cray cray.
  13. I’ve lost count of how many times Audrina has said “EW” after Heidi accused her of hooking up with Spencer.
  14. This is like the reality version of The Other Woman! Except Heidi’s a fucking moron.
  15. HOLY CRAP. I am 99% sure that I just saw Lauri’s daughter, Ashley, from Real Housewives of Orange County!
  16. I love how much Lauren hates Intern Emily for seemingly no reason. She’s great at her job, clearly works hard (18 credits and two internships??) and knows her flowers. What’s not to love?¬†“She’s like super intern.” You know…Emily is actually kind of how I imagine current-day Lauren Conrad. Oh the wonders of Instagram.
  17. Ouch at Lisa Love dismissing Lauren and Whitney from the dinner but inviting Emily (to make her own place card LOL.) Stuff makes me believe that The Devil Wears Prada wasn’t too far off.
  18. And with that we’re at the beginning of the end of Heidi+Lauren=BFF.
  19. “Spencer got you some flowers!” “That’s nice of him. Is he going to give them to Audrina tomorrow?” LOL
  20. Audrina and Lauren totally predicted that Spencer would try to isolate Heidi by putting ideas into her head. Spencer is like the human version of Scientology.

So much drama, y’all.

Guilty Pleasures: Reality TV

Ah, guilty pleasures.

We all have them. I have a long-standing history of being inexplicably drawn to TV shows, movies, and books that many (wrong) people agree just aren’t very good. It’s why I make an event out of inviting friends over to watch terrible movies. Just this morning, a friend teased me about my teenage obsession with Dawson’s Creek,¬†an obsession¬†I¬†still tap into from time to time.

Pacey Joey Dawson's Creek OTP
Pacey+Joey 4-eva!

I don’t watch a ton of reality TV, but I watch enough to be a little ashamed of myself. I’ve watched all of the¬†Real Housewives¬†franchises and practically count down the hours until new episodes of¬†Orange County and Beverly Hills are on.¬†I’ve watched all seasons of Road Rules¬†(aw, remember Road Rules?) and most seasons of¬†The Real World¬†when it was great:

     

I LOVED Laguna Beach and The Hills. 

Laguna Beach Kristin Cavallari

Laguna Beach Lauren Conrad

The Hills Lauren Conrad Gif Lo Bosworth

Lauren Conrad The Hill Gif

Lauren Conrad The Hills Justin Bobby
Wasn’t Lauren so wise, y’all?

(If you missed out on the dramaaaa of Laguna Beach, this will actually sum it up for you quite nicely.)

I’m not really into competition shows about singing or dancing, or shows about finding love (unless they’re on VH1.) In fact, I still quote from¬†Rock of Love, I Love New York,¬†and¬†Flavor of Love.¬†

Flavor of Love Flavor Flav I Love New York
Because really, how can you not?

I wrote previously about the reality train-wreck, True Tori (RIP). I marathoned Marriage Boot Camp: Reality Stars over the weekend and giggled through every episode.

As I said, part of me is a little embarrassed about my affection for these shows, but at the same time they can be SO entertaining and I don’t think I’m alone when I say that sometimes they just make me feel better about myself.¬†Not¬†to be judgmental because lord knows I’ve said some dumb things in my time, but at least nothing like this has ever come out of my mouth:

Rock of Love
Seriously, where do they even find these people?

Best of 2014

I read, watched, and listened to some pretty great things in 2014. These are my favorites:

Favorite Reads:

Fiction:
All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr
Landline by Rainbow Rowell

Memoir:
The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls

Young Adult:
We Were Liars by E. Lockhart

Best Audiobook:
Yes Please by Amy Poehler

Best Short Stories:
Bark by Lorrie Moore and Stone Mattress by Margaret Atwood

Best Graphic Novel:
Sex Criminals by Matt Fraction & Chip Zdarsky
Your Illustrated Guide To Becoming One With The Universe By Yumi Sakugawa

Best Poetry Collection:
I Don’t Know Do You By Roberto Montes

I made a goal to read 75 books this year and surpassed it (by four books, but still; woot!) I’m debating whether I should¬†challenge myself to at all in 2015. While making a specific goal and keeping track of whether I’m behind schedule definitely keeps me motivated, I do sort of agree with articles like this one, which¬†argues that always keeping track of how many books you’ve already read is nerve wracking and is not really what reading should be about. I made a personal goal to post here four times a week, which seemed completely manageable for the first half of the year. There are so many great books I read this year that I keep meaning¬†to write about here, but¬†just haven’t found the time, and that’s a frustrating feeling.


Thanks to the success of¬†Serial, many have dubbed 2014 “the year of the podcast.” Even Dear Sugar got in on the action! I’ve started listening to so many this year, some new, some just new to me. But I’ll try to keep this list reasonably short.

Favorite Podcasts:

Serial

This American Life

Gilmore Guys

The Scot and the Sassenach

Totally Laime (which is unfortunately ending soon)

BookRiot

Pop Culture Happy Hour

Not Too Deep with Grace Helbig

How Did This Get Made?

Dear Sugar Radio


I’m a huge fan of guilty pleasure television, especially when it comes to Reality TV. I know, I know, but I just can’t stop myself.

Favorite TV

Outlander

Orange is the New Black

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

The Affair

Hart of Dixie

How to Get Away With Murder

New Girl

Pretty Little Liars

The Chair

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills/Orange County

True Tori

Shark Tank


Finally, I watched some really fantastic films this year. These were my favorites:

Favorite Movies

Short Term 12

Chef

Snowpiercer

The Fault in our Stars

Veronica Mars

Mockingjay

Gone Girl

Divergent

Wild


You were a good year, 2014.

Happy New Year!

AfterEllen on Pretty Little Liars

Aria‚Äôs rookie¬†day at Radley goes about as well as you‚Äôd expect. The first thing she does is practically confess to killing Shana when Eddie Lamb reads her name off her name tag. All he says is ‚ÄúAria‚ÄĚ and she‚Äôs like, ‚ÄúWho, me? No, not me. I mean, yes, my name is Aria, but not like […]

I wish I knew how to quit RHOC

A confession: my name is Kelley and I have faithfully watched Real Housewives of Orange County since its first episode.

*hangs head in shame*

For years it’s been a guilty pleasure, but this season is getting to me. Last weeks episode made me MAD. So mad that I proceeded to think about it for the rest of the week and even had a dream or two where I confronted Tamra Barney and gave her the ol’ punch to her see you next Tuesday.

Not my proudest moment, even if it didn’t actually happen. Actually scratch that. If it did really happy, I’d be a little proud. She is after all, THE WORST.

But dreaming about it? Just seemed a little odd.

And JUST LOOK at my Twitter feed!

These beeyotches have taken over.

Last night I found myself sitting on the couch and felt my blood pressure rising as Heather asked Tamra if they should call an ambulance for poor Shannon. (Yes, #TeamShannon forever and ever amen.)  I started to curse up a storm, fist shaking and the works, and after a while I asked myself, just what am I doing? I mean, what are they doing, obviously. But what am I doing? I should be reading or doing yoga or binging on my Netflix queue or just generally spending my time on happy things instead of getting worked up about a bunch of crazy women from Orange County.

It’s times like these when I ask myself, WWLVPD?

Actually, who am I kidding. This is what Lisa Vanderpump would do:

Ooh hate to leave paradise @StRegis@bahiabeach

Ooh hate to leave paradise 

Basically I’m going to need these women to calm down before I start to question my own mental health for watching this mess.