20 Thoughts I Had While Randomly Re-Watching Season 2 of The Hills

So… you know how I recently admitted that I’m a fan of reality TV?

I was perusing On Demand offerings a week or so ago and noticed that MTV has a “Retro” section where you can access old shows. And guess what I found??

the hills lauren conrad heidi montag whitney port audrina patridge spencer pratt reality tv mtv

I got all nostalgic and decided to watch a couple episodes and ended up watching the entire second season. (Oops.) I also decided it would be cruel to keep my thoughts to myself.

Let’s do this!

  1. I think it’s pretty official that Lauren Conrad is not known as “The Girl Who Didn’t Go to Paris.”
  2. Spencer was SUCH a douche right from the start. I totally forgot about him two-timing Heidi and Audrina. And frankly, I kind of miss Heidi’s old face and Heidi’s old backbone.
  3. Jen Bunney’s new face, however, is a definite improvement.
  4. Oh Lisa LOVE. I miss seeing her on my TV. I love how they constantly make it seem like she thinks Lauren is the biggest idiot in the entire world.
  5. Side-note: I used to want to be an editor for film or television and actually used to daydream about being an editor for MTV reality shows or Bravo reality shows. They make their stars SO ridiculous and I just imagine that most of their time is spent giggling. (The rest is spent rolling their eyes, obviously.)
  6. “Us ugly people have to work our asses off.” LOL. And truth.
  7. I’m starting to think Heidi might actually be a real life Benjamin Button. She has become more immature since this show which is really saying something. (See: Marriage Boot Camp.)
  8. I still find it a little incredible that these young (non-married, non-mother) ladies were better at avoiding drama than every single Real Housewife out there. And they actually talk about their issues. Probably because theirs was real drama and not manufactured just for TV. Man, I actually do miss this show :(
  9. It’s incredible how MTV expected viewers to believe that these were real conversations when they always show the other person’s face while the person who’s talking is talking and it’s clearly inserted audio. Yet I fall for it every time. Well, not every time. But a lot of the time.
  10. Heidi and Lauren had a really genuine friendship, and it still makes me a little sad that things imploded SO badly between them. That said…Team Lauren.
  11. “There is no where else in the world I’d rather be right now.” Brody. YOU JUST MET. Calm down. Also, how hilarious would it be if Lauren decided to score points with Lisa Love and replied that she would actually rather be in Paris.
  12. Ladies of the world (especially young ones): If a boy you are dating threatens one of your coworkers with bodily harm because of a comment they made about your outfit, walk away. No, RUN away. It’s not chivalrous or normal or cute. It’s cray cray.
  13. I’ve lost count of how many times Audrina has said “EW” after Heidi accused her of hooking up with Spencer.
  14. This is like the reality version of The Other Woman! Except Heidi’s a fucking moron.
  15. HOLY CRAP. I am 99% sure that I just saw Lauri’s daughter, Ashley, from Real Housewives of Orange County!
  16. I love how much Lauren hates Intern Emily for seemingly no reason. She’s great at her job, clearly works hard (18 credits and two internships??) and knows her flowers. What’s not to love? “She’s like super intern.” You know…Emily is actually kind of how I imagine current-day Lauren Conrad. Oh the wonders of Instagram.
  17. Ouch at Lisa Love dismissing Lauren and Whitney from the dinner but inviting Emily (to make her own place card LOL.) Stuff makes me believe that The Devil Wears Prada wasn’t too far off.
  18. And with that we’re at the beginning of the end of Heidi+Lauren=BFF.
  19. “Spencer got you some flowers!” “That’s nice of him. Is he going to give them to Audrina tomorrow?” LOL
  20. Audrina and Lauren totally predicted that Spencer would try to isolate Heidi by putting ideas into her head. Spencer is like the human version of Scientology.

So much drama, y’all.

Book Review: Just Kids by Patti Smith

Just Kids Patti Smith

From the publisher: Patti Smith and Robert Mapplethorpe weren’t always famous, but they always thought they would be. They found each other, adrift but determined, on the streets of New York City in the late ’60s and made a pact to keep each other afloat until they found their voices–or the world was ready to hear them. Lovers first and then friends as Mapplethorpe discovered he was gay, they divided their dimes between art supplies and Coney Island hot dogs. Mapplethorpe was quicker to find his metier, with a Polaroid and then a Hasselblad, but Smith was the first to fame, transformed, to her friend’s delight, from a poet into a rock star.

Just Kids is a love story, though not the traditional kind.

It’s an ode to transformative love between two people and their shared interest in art and creating, and how this love permanently bonds them to one another. It’s a tribute to the kind of friendship that transcends time and inspires self-confidence.

The book’s title was inspired by a conversation Smith overheard when she and Mapplethorpe made it a point to dress eccentrically on a visit to Coney Island.  An elderly couple took note of their attire, and one of them asked aloud “are those people artists?” His wife responded, “I think they’re just kids.” It was a question they were trying to answer themselves, surrounded as they were by creators, writers and musicians, many of whom proceeded confidently in the artistic direction of their choosing.

I had never really listened to Smith’s music and didn’t know much about her or Mapplethorpe prior to reading the book. I just kept hearing how wonderful it is, and how if you consider yourself to be creative, it’s a must-read. I finally picked it up and couldn’t put it down. I’m actually find it hard to put how I feel about this book into words. It moved me so much. Suffice to say, Just Kids has easily become one of my favorite books I’ve ever read and I recommend it wholeheartedly to any creative soul.

Link Love

Here are some of my favorite things I found around the internet this week:

  • I’m struggling this winter. I struggle with SAD every winter, but this winter feels more never ending than usual. Most of the DC region had a snow day on Monday and it both helped and hurt. So, I related to NPR’s Linda Holmes’ Monkey See article on Making Peace with Snow Days and Seasons.
  • Megan Amram, prolific Tweeter, writer for Parks and Recreation, and all around funny gal, wrote a book that I’m super excited to read! But in the meantime, I enjoyed this illustrated interview with her on The Rumpus.
  • BookRiot posted a fun article on Literary/Pop Culture mashups.
  • This American Life has done two fantastic shows about the issue of policing and race in America. Part one is here and part two is here.
  • This American Life also did a fascinating episode where they replayed a BBC documentary about William Burroughs (author of Naked Lunch.)
  • Time posted an interview with the wonderful Rainbow Rowell, where she discusses her upcoming novel, Carry On, which will be released in October!  Is it too early to start squeeing?
  • I recently discovered the podcast, Watch What Crappens, where Ben “B-side” Mandelker and Ronnie Karam discuss Bravo reality shows, and I’m SO glad I did. I’ve been a fan of B-Side ever since his TVgasm recaps of Laguna Beach routinely made me laugh until I cried, and Ronnie’s recaps of Real Housewives shows do the same. This podcast is snarky and hilarious and if you like Bravo shows, you will love it.

Happy perusing and happy weekend!

Guilty Pleasures: Reality TV

Ah, guilty pleasures.

We all have them. I have a long-standing history of being inexplicably drawn to TV shows, movies, and books that many (wrong) people agree just aren’t very good. It’s why I make an event out of inviting friends over to watch terrible movies. Just this morning, a friend teased me about my teenage obsession with Dawson’s Creek, an obsession I still tap into from time to time.

Pacey Joey Dawson's Creek OTP

Pacey+Joey 4-eva!

I don’t watch a ton of reality TV, but I watch enough to be a little ashamed of myself. I’ve watched all of the Real Housewives franchises and practically count down the hours until new episodes of Orange County and Beverly Hills are on. I’ve watched all seasons of Road Rules (aw, remember Road Rules?) and most seasons of The Real World when it was great:

     

I LOVED Laguna Beach and The Hills. 

Laguna Beach Kristin Cavallari

Laguna Beach Lauren Conrad

The Hills Lauren Conrad Gif Lo Bosworth

Lauren Conrad The Hill Gif

Lauren Conrad The Hills Justin Bobby

Wasn’t Lauren so wise, y’all?

(If you missed out on the dramaaaa of Laguna Beach, this will actually sum it up for you quite nicely.)

I’m not really into competition shows about singing or dancing, or shows about finding love (unless they’re on VH1.) In fact, I still quote from Rock of Love, I Love New York, and Flavor of Love. 

Flavor of Love Flavor Flav I Love New York

Because really, how can you not?

I wrote previously about the reality train-wreck, True Tori (RIP). I marathoned Marriage Boot Camp: Reality Stars over the weekend and giggled through every episode.

As I said, part of me is a little embarrassed about my affection for these shows, but at the same time they can be SO entertaining and I don’t think I’m alone when I say that sometimes they just make me feel better about myself. Not to be judgmental because lord knows I’ve said some dumb things in my time, but at least nothing like this has ever come out of my mouth:

Rock of Love

Seriously, where do they even find these people?

Classics & Cocktails: Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid & Straight Whiskey

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance KidIt’s 1890 in Wyoming, and Butch Cassidy is the charming leader of the “Hole in the Wall Gang.” His right hand man is the stoic and deadly Sundance Kid. They rob trains, and eventually find themselves being relentlessly pursued by the law. Butch and Sundance strategically separate from the rest of the gang, but find that their attempts to outrun the lawmen are unsuccessful. Butch persuades Sundance and his lover, Etta, to move to Bolivia, arguing that it would be a veritable robbers paradise.

I can’t believe it took me this long to watch Butch Cassidy and the Sundance KidI My dad and grandmother spoke highly of it for years, but I’ve never been a big fan of westerns so I figured I wouldn’t enjoy it. I was wrong. It’s such a great movie. It’s funny and Paul Newman is so charming and both he and Robert Redford make pretty excellent eye candy. I’m already looking forward to watching it again when the opportunity presents itself.

I’ll be honest. We’re kinda struggling on the cocktail front. Our bar isn’t exactly what I would call well-stocked, so we’re sort of phoning it in with our selections. Plus, it’s hard to pair a drink with a film you’ve never seen. Hopefully we’ll get with the program. But for this one, we figured straight whiskey was an apropos choice.

Also! I had a very sad realization the other day. (Sad because I didn’t realize it sooner and feel like a dumb dumb.) We’ve long subscribed to Netflix’s streaming service but I signed up for DVD’s specifically for this series of classic movies. After a long period without one, I finally got a library card and hopped aboard the yay free books! train. I joined Audible before I remembered that the library lends audio books (for free) and just yesterday it suddenly occurred to me that the library also lends DVD’s. For free. Sigh.

Next up: Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf